It's 4.30am on my third night shift at my wonderful place of employment. I've two more nights before my weekend starts and i get to live slightly more normal hours. Tonight i've filled my time by browsing fashion blogs and reading trashy women’s health magazines.
Realisations i have come to over the past three nights working at the silent Canberra Ted Noff's.
1. Mendino (name changed incase he stalks me)-one of my fellow night coworkers- must be the man Wallace from Wallace and Grommet was modeled from, that or he is totally possessed by some evil demon (his eyes are black as night). When Mendino talks his lower lip stretches out over the teeth of his bottom jaw. He spits a lot and consumes a rather unnerving amount of cheese, even by my standards. He is British and when he talks it's usually about his experience with this, his thoughts on so and so, or how he was in the right when he did this. He speaks in a way that gives other people involved in the conversation no way to interrupt, using loaded silences to move from one topic to the next. Since he talks such utter crap i can only imagine he must have some sort of wonderfully intelligent dog at home to look after his basic needs.
2. Depression is boring. More about this another post.
3. I think i'm meant to be with a guy who fights space demons and fly’s a very large space ship. He will be rugged and dirty in an attractive manly kind of way. He'll be the kind of guy who lovingly carries you to the bedroom but then passionately and aggressively throws you onto the bed. Any suggestions on how i'm to meet said man would be very greatly appreciated.
4. After a certain phase of exhaustion and caffeine consumption everything starts to smell like vanilla.
5. Cats can totally think in human.
6. Night shifts are making me lose my mind.