Monday, February 27, 2012
This blog has seen me through several heart breaks, considerable heartache, about a hundred fantasy crushes and about a million glances at cute boy's bum's. I've obsessed over the size of my bum, I've obsessed about the fact I'm obsessing over the size of my bum, and I've obsessed about what obsessing about the fact I'm obsessing over the size of my bum means about me as a woman. I've thought a lot about being a woman, being happy as a woman and being powerful as a woman. I’ve thought about what my power animal would be. It’s a lioness. No biggie.
Yesterday afternoon after having wonderful sex* with my wonderful man, I completed the perfect Sunday afternoon by falling asleep on said man's lap while reading. A few drowsy minutes after waking, my current bastion for all things good kissed me on the forehead and politely excused himself explaining that he had needed to pee for the greater part of my nap on his lap. This small gesture (though considerably large when taken in to account the small size of most men’s bladders) filled my heart with such joy I briefly considered throwing the towel in on psychology and trying my luck as a romance writer. The happiness and deep ease I feel around him made sense as I realised this happiness was more to do with how I feel about myself, than the connection I have with my partner. This was, as women have termed before, "quite an empowering moment".
I want to be a good woman and I’m lucky enough to have found myself a good man. But I’ve realised that none of it matters unless there is genuine happiness. I’ve realised that you’re not going to help create future generations of super empowered, go-getters with vagina's unless you’re rolling with the punches, shedding a few tears when you’re hurt and then dusting yourself off and reengaging your joyous self for all to bask in the warm, inspiring glow of. I’ve decided THAT is how you become an influential woman, but maybe more importantly, a happy woman.
So, in conclusion, I think I stumbled across the meaning of life. Or at least, fell asleep on it. Sadly this realization, as documented across the ages, is one that needs to be made on an experiential level, but I’ll be damned if I don’t put a few pointers out to help mark the way. Consider this my blogs new direction.
I love you, ladies.
* Writing about such things isn't crass if you're all self actualised and junk. Really.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
It's been a while. You're looking good, I'm looking good, we're both bitching about Canberra's 'summer' but secretly feeling a little glad that the doona is back on the bed at night.
I’ve two videos for you today my loves. They are two of my favourite songs of 2011 and represent some aspects of what I hope 2012 will be.
The first: Amanaemonesia by Chairlift.
A bit like this video clip, I’m going to do things differently this year. Lycra-onesies, octopus fingers, ethereal harmonies and the type of energy that can only be found dancing on what looks to be a giant tongue; this year I’m really taking life by the balls. Or living via my sensory system. Either way, it’s going to be wild.
The second: Savage Night at the Opera by Destroyer
I’m head over heels crazy about the man who pointed me in the direction of Destroyer’s album Kaputt after showing me this video clip. This song (as well as his charming self) is simply marvellous. It’s a song that makes me feel content, mellow and joyous. You know that it’s constantly moving in a good direction and that there are no unpleasant surprises coming in its structure or melody that could destabilise your happy journey. This year I’m letting myself feel content, safe and genuinely happy. This video clip is beautiful.
Happy 2012! I’m going to make an effort to be more present.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Has anyone else noticed the game people are playing on Facebook at the moment? Where someone posts a year on a friend's page and in response the friend fills their status with corresponding memories? I’m going to steal this concept, only instead of writing about specific years, this week I’m going to write about things that had a profound impact on me; the type of impact that can only occur during adolescence.
The first thing I want to share with you is the HBO series Six Feet Under.
Julia Millionaire introduced me to the series when I was in year 11. It made a huge impact on me then, and after watching the final season again this weekend, I can see why.
Six Feet Under is superbly scripted and shot. Each episode has at least one line that makes you sit and reflect on your own life. It sounds a little naff, but the series really is a celebration of life. From birth to death it reiterates the unbelievable fact that we have total control over our lives and consequentially our happiness.
"I’m just saying you only get one life. There’s no god, no rules, no judgments. Except for those you accept or create for yourself and once its over, its over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. So why not be happy while your here?
Really. Why not?"
It’s so easy to forget how much choice we actually have over our happiness, and so easy to feel trapped or not act on what we’re really feeling due to fear. Six Feet Under reminds me of this, and accordingly hits me hard. Really hard.
"All we have is this moment, right here, right now. The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid being alive today.
So, be here now"
When I first watched Six Feet Under I had no idea what I wanted to be, what direction I wanted to go in, or who I was. I lived in a state of constant fear not believing myself to be good enough for anyone or anything, wondering when my friends and family would figure it out. This weekend while watching the final season again I realised that the way I’m living completely reflects what I want. I've somehow ended up in a job I adore, I’m honest and open about how I feel and I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by people I love. Lordy, how self-actualised.
Whether it’s because the television show is incredible, or whether it’s due to where I’m up to in my cycle, Six Feet Under really packed a punch this afternoon. A lot has changed since 2005 when its final episode aired, but my reaction to it certainly hasn’t. I’m not going to lie, I was a blubbering wreck.
Anyone else find it somewhat hilarious that Alan Ball went on to create True Blood?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Jens, light of my life, haunter of my dreams. It's been so long. So long. You moved from Sweden to Melbourne and I thought your presence in my life would be stronger. How long and cold the nights have been while I waited.
I started imagining what it would be like to be devoted to other men. Spencer Krug certainly filled part of the void you'd left in my heart. But then, in the depths of Canberra winter, when almost all hope was gone, you came back to me and warmed the cockles of this hardening heart.
Jens Lekman is releasing a new ep through Secretly Canadian titled "An Argument with Myself". It's due to be released in the US and UK on the 19th of September and you can pre-order it here.
The title track is great.
Jens Lekman - An Argument With Myself by DOJAGSC
Winter suddenly seems less harsh.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Saturday night is going to be a doosy. I'm going to be all glamorous and shit at Lifeline Canberra's annual ball, and there's going to be a dirty big party at Transit Bar where Purple Sneakers are launching their new night "Fresh Prince". Who was at Transit Bar last Saturday for the most epic Strangeways of all time? That shit was crazy. Transit went mental and now the standard has been set, I'm sure this Saturday will be no different.
Fresh Prince is a band night, therefore different from the DJ fueled indie dance party we've come to expect from the Sneakers crew. Bands will play and their set will be judged based on how cute the boys in the band are. Oh, that's only me? Awkward.
This edition of Fresh Prince features Deep Sea Arcade and Fun Machine. It's on Saturday night and it's $15 on the door, unless you mention our blog and then it's only $10! Bargain!
For more information check out the Fresh Prince Launch Facebook link:
BANDS: Deep Sea Arcade, Fun Machine
DJs: M.I.T (SYD), Architect DJs, Princi, Celebrity Sex Tape.
8PM ........Celebrity Sex Tape
9.............Fun Machine LIVE
930.........Celebrity Sex Tape
10...........Deep Sea Arcade LIVE
Deep Sea Arcade Songs
"Lonely In Your Arms"
"Don't Be Sorry"
See you there hipsters.