Saturday, July 30, 2011

Love is you

Love is you, charming prince.

Oh yes, love is also you. But I can't be sure until you take off your shirt...

My heart is yours, wild beast.

Mmm, love is you.

Especially with horse.

No, love is YOU.

Love is nerd.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Yeah? Well, shut up...

Freddo; you are mine

I ran a relapse prevention group on Tuesday using Freddo frogs. I gave each of the drug affected young people I work with a Freddo and made them sit it in front of them. We then went around the room telling our favourite story involving Freddo frogs. Which led on to our talk about what we enjoy most when eating Freddos, talk about how they taste, how delicious they are when they melt on your tongue, the difference between Freddos and other types of chocolate and generally how much we all just freaking love Freddos.

Then, every odd person in our group was allowed to eat the feet of their Freddo, stop, and tell everyone else how amazing it tasted. The purpose of the group (in case you hadn't reached it yet), is to discuss urges and cravings: what triggers us, what makes it worse and how much control we have when confronted with a substance we're trying to control. The young people ate their chocolate, most while simultaneously rolling their eyes when they figured out why we talked for an hour about how much we love Freddos, and I left the room feeling a little like a teen drug and alcohol treatment rock star.

Until one of my darlings walked into my office and...

"Jaimie, aren't you supposed to be vegan this week?"
"Yes you inspirational young person overcoming drug abuse, indeed I am."
'Then why do you have a Freddo frog wrapper in your bin?"

Yeah? Well shut up.

Beer; you are mine

Friday afternoon rolls around and so does that sacred time where you drink beer and debrief about the crazy week you've just had. I happily sitting in front of the fire sipping away at my pint when suddenly...

"Jaimie, aren't you supposed to be vegan this week?"
"Yeah, it's been generally pretty good. Not as hard as I thought it would be."
"Oh, you do realise that when filtering beer, brewers will often use animal products?"

Yeah? Well, shut up.

I ate you, fishy

On Friday evenings at happy hour at Tillies, Tom will usually orchestrate the purchase of some Salmon pate and fresh warm bread. It came out, was placed in front of an already fairly inebriated Jaimie which was followed with...

"Hahaha, Jaimie you're the worst vegan ever! I can't believe you just ate SALMON PATE!"

Yeah? Well, shut up.

Soy sauce; you are mine too

As the night progressed we moved on to one of my friendship groups favourite restaurants, Tu Do at O'Connor shops. I ordered fresh vegetarian spring rolls and a vegetable dish for Vanessa and I. The food came out and looked amazing, as always. We were about to hack into it when our recently un-veganed friend Tim questions....

"I assume you know that many brands of soy sauce have animal products in it. You checked with the waiter before ordering, right?"

Yeah? Well, shut up.

Mm, cocktails: you are mine!

A few hours and numerous vegan approved glasses of wine later, we found ourselves at Knightsbridge ordering cocktails. I found myself wondering if the spirits used in our drinks were animal product free, to which I replied...

"Jaimie, you've failed at being a vegan epically."

One of my friends joked that we should rename this week Vegan Failure week. But I don't think it's been a total failure. It's been very difficult, especially when drunk and then consequentially hungover the day after. It's made me think a lot more about what I put into my body, where it comes from and what that means for the environment. While I won't be remaining vegan, I've decided that I'm going to commit to ethical eating practices.

I'd also like to add that Vanessa was a much better vegan than I was.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Vegan Jaimie Reports: A Leek and Burghul Burger Story

Hey everyone! My name's Jaimie and this week I'm a vegan. This is a picture of me that my best friend Vanessa drew. She's a vegan this week too. She's also an artist. Vegan's are like natures super heroes. If they were on the TV show Heroes, the character who had vegan super powers would be able to read minds. Animal minds. And they'd have a beard that collects wisdom.

Oh hey Vanessa! Good job peeling those potatoes! She made some really delicious sweet potato and normal potato chips. I hate peeling potatoes.

Tonight I made Vanessa and my super cool house mate Tom leek and burghul burgers. These are the leeks I used. Yum! Leek! If vegan's had a police force, they would use leeks as batons. They look scary, but if used to hit someone/something, it wouldn't really hurt.

This is the burghul I used. I'd never heard of burghul until Monday when Vanessa made a really amazing Red Pepper soup for dinner. I had to soak it for 10 minutes in water. I hate waiting.

This is a picture of one of my leek and burghul patties. In this light it kind of looks like a meat patty. This is not a meat patty.

My recipe for this burger included:

  • 2x leeks, roughly chopped and sauteed until soft

  • 1 cup of burghul, soaked in 1 and a half cup of water for 10 minutes

  • red onion

  • some curry powder

  • Tabasco sauce

  • chili flakes

  • lemon juice

  • plain flour

I can't tell you how much of the above stuff went into it, because I cook with my heart and judge the quantities with my soul. I served the burgers with multi-grain toast, organic tomato, rocket and spicy red sauce. I was so excited when they were finished that I forgot to take a picture. I needed to show you guys though, so I created a non-bread burger version of my meal.

That J you can see stands for Jaimie. Master Jaimie.

This week rocks.


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Jaimie and Vanessa: Spotlight on VEGAN CHALLENGE

Vanessa: Some call us crazy. Some call us...

Katherine: Some call you fucking idiots

Jaimie: Katherine! You're not a millionaire, get outa here

Vanessa: But that's beside the point, we're here to talk to you about our Vegan Challenge week!

Jaimie: Yeah! Challenge!

Jaimie: Hey Ness, if we're going to be vegan for awhile, will we be like the Vegan Vixens?

The Vegan Vixens: a group of babes who use their bodies to coerce guys to become vegans AND stop dog fighting

Vanessa: Well clearly yes. Doesn't everyone turn into a babe when they go vegan?

Jaimie: Well actually, I have a secret confession to make...

Vanessa: What?

Jaimie: I have a crush on at least 5 vegan hipster babes

Vanessa: Who?! Can you even name 5 people who are vegans?

Jaimie: .....

Vanessa: Ha!

Jaimie: Well I imagine them to be babes, okay? Long hair, beard, over developed sense of righteousness...

Vanessa: Anyway, how are we actually going to do this?

Jaimie: Drink soy milk and shit?

Vanessa: Ugh

Jaimie: Okay, so for one week we're going to be inspired by vegan food blogs and all things healthy and environmentally sound. Maybe we'll go for two?!

Vanessa: ... Let's see how one goes

Jaimie: But we'll blog about it?

Vanessa: Of course!

Jaimie: We're going to need a lot of help

Vanessa: Mm, we'd be super grateful if people could send us their favourite vegan recipes and vegan food blogs!

Jaimie: Yes! Challenge commenced!!!! Let the soy be plentiful!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Canberra punks

Today I was alerted to the best Facebook group EVER, by the one and only Useless Lines. I may be overstating this, but it is pretty great. Canberra Punk & Beyond is dedicated to the Canberra underground scene from 1977 - 1992. Essentially it's a collection of photos of the people and places, who for their moment in time were Canberra.

These are just some of my favourite photos, but you should check out the Facebook group where there are many more and find out how rad Canberra really was.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Mad Crush Monday: A Lesson

I'm sick at the moment. I know what you're thinking, "Whinge some more Jaimie! You didn't do enough in your last post". But hold up! Give a lady a chance, I'm setting the scene.

So as I was saying, I'm sick at the moment. This means I feel entitled to read love stories, eat trash and watch A LOT of television all in the name of illness eradication. This round of highly reputable, Jaimie specific treatment has raised my attention to TWO mad crushes and ONE MAJOR GRIPE!!!!

Let's start with this week's man (heh, men) of my dreams:

1) Theodore Laurence the III (aka, Laurie, Teddy and 'my boy') from the book Little Women, which I am currently re-reading in accordance with my treatment plan; section 1) read love stories.

Oh Laurie, fire of my loins! Now, to be honest, I didn't imagine you quite like Christian Bale, but dear God young man! You'll do!

Let me list the things I love about you Theodore;

  • You are a gentlemanly rogue (Vanessa and I have spoken about our love for this type before), only you're more of a gentleman than a rogue, but enough of a rogue to be hella attractive

  • Laurie my darling, you know how to flirt! You send flowers and chocolates and dresses, you take your lovers on long walks and make comments like "It won't do you a bit of good, Jo. My eye is on you; so watch what you do, or I'll come and bring you home". Oh swoon! A man who takes charge and knows what he wants

  • You are charming; both with words and looks

  • You are a man of means; myself and our beautiful offspring will be very comfortable in your gigantic estate

  • You are a genuinely nice chap; a handsome, college educated man with morals?! Oh I rest my case, aren't you in love with him now too?

2) Josh Lyman from the West Wing (a show which incidentally has magical healing properties)

Best photo ever?

I found a direct correlation with feelings of happiness and the theme music to the West Wing when recovering from my surgery a few months ago. What did this lead to? Me watching six and a half seasons of the West Wing since mid April. Do the math people. I'm amazed I don't have bed sores.

Josh Lyman is no Sam Seaborn. But my goodness he has true grit. Let's explore:

  • Starting with the basics; Josh Lyman isn't afraid to stand up and fight for what he believes in. This will usually involve yelling. I like my men to be loud

  • He has a smile what makes you question whether he's feeling warm towards you, or simply making fun of you for not possessing his amazing political mind. Teasing can be an endearing version of foreplay

  • He knows politics; for someone like me who pretends to be watching Q & A, when they are actually dreaming about fictitious dream boats, this quality is very attractive

  • He has a receding hair line; "what?!" I see you all gasp. I've discovered I seem to have matured from boys in black skinny jeans to men with receding hair lines. It has been speculated that baldness is an evolutionary event that signifies maturity and conveys greater authority on affected men. And heaven forbid if my man has better hair than I do. Seeing as how I'm all mature and shit now, it makes sense that I'd be more attracted to authoritative men, then mopey boys in testicle crushing jeans

So, time for my serious gripes:

1) Laurie is in love with Jo March for AGES and when he finally confesses his undying love Jo tells him that she only loves him as a friend. Well, based on the above argument Jo is clearly insane, but does Laurie shake it off and find another well deserving lass? NO! HE MARRIES HER SISTER!!!!!!!! God damn it!!!!!!

2) Now, keeping in mind that I'm only midway through season six: we've established that Josh Lyman is a go getter and a very suitable candidate as a number 1 love interest. Donna Moss has been in love with Josh since season 1 and Josh CLEARLY has had feelings for her for sometime. Hello, flying to Germany after the whole Gaza Strip business!?! WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD HER YOU LOVE HER YET? It's driving me CRAZY! I start each episode this season with "Okay West Wing, Donna and Josh are going to get together this episode, bring it!", and then no. They never do! And I'm left going, "Okay, one more episode because Donna and Josh are going to get together THIS episode". See?!?! Crazy!!!!!!

So my gripe is this: Mad Crush Monday's of past and future; for the love of all things good and proper, be assertive.

You stop being hot when you become a pussy.


Sunday, July 3, 2011

Playing dress ups

Loving this blog right now Dress, Memory by Lorelai Vashti. A freelance writer and editor living in Melbourne, Lorelai started this project as a way to record her favourite dresses and the memories associated with them.

Photography by Lee Sandwith

She writes so elegantly and honestly about her life, the experiences and the often painful memories that accompany these dresses and these moments in time. People often tell you their incredibly personal stories on the internet and sometimes there is nothing worse, nothing more excruciating than reading about the life of someone you care nothing about. But sometimes, when executed correctly and in such a simple and beautifully written narrative there is nothing better. Personal stories become universal stories and a connection is made. This blog has such a simple idea, but I really dig it.

Anyway, enough. Go read it for yourself and see if you agree or disagree with me.