Yeah? Well, shut up...

Freddo; you are mine

I ran a relapse prevention group on Tuesday using Freddo frogs. I gave each of the drug affected young people I work with a Freddo and made them sit it in front of them. We then went around the room telling our favourite story involving Freddo frogs. Which led on to our talk about what we enjoy most when eating Freddos, talk about how they taste, how delicious they are when they melt on your tongue, the difference between Freddos and other types of chocolate and generally how much we all just freaking love Freddos.

Then, every odd person in our group was allowed to eat the feet of their Freddo, stop, and tell everyone else how amazing it tasted. The purpose of the group (in case you hadn't reached it yet), is to discuss urges and cravings: what triggers us, what makes it worse and how much control we have when confronted with a substance we're trying to control. The young people ate their chocolate, most while simultaneously rolling their eyes when they figured out why we talked for an hour about how much we love Freddos, and I left the room feeling a little like a teen drug and alcohol treatment rock star.

Until one of my darlings walked into my office and...


"Jaimie, aren't you supposed to be vegan this week?"
"Yes you inspirational young person overcoming drug abuse, indeed I am."
'Then why do you have a Freddo frog wrapper in your bin?"

Yeah? Well shut up.

Beer; you are mine

Friday afternoon rolls around and so does that sacred time where you drink beer and debrief about the crazy week you've just had. I happily sitting in front of the fire sipping away at my pint when suddenly...

"Jaimie, aren't you supposed to be vegan this week?"
"Yeah, it's been generally pretty good. Not as hard as I thought it would be."
"Oh, you do realise that when filtering beer, brewers will often use animal products?"

Yeah? Well, shut up.

I ate you, fishy

On Friday evenings at happy hour at Tillies, Tom will usually orchestrate the purchase of some Salmon pate and fresh warm bread. It came out, was placed in front of an already fairly inebriated Jaimie which was followed with...

"Hahaha, Jaimie you're the worst vegan ever! I can't believe you just ate SALMON PATE!"


Yeah? Well, shut up.

Soy sauce; you are mine too

As the night progressed we moved on to one of my friendship groups favourite restaurants, Tu Do at O'Connor shops. I ordered fresh vegetarian spring rolls and a vegetable dish for Vanessa and I. The food came out and looked amazing, as always. We were about to hack into it when our recently un-veganed friend Tim questions....

"I assume you know that many brands of soy sauce have animal products in it. You checked with the waiter before ordering, right?"


Yeah? Well, shut up.

Mm, cocktails: you are mine!

A few hours and numerous vegan approved glasses of wine later, we found ourselves at Knightsbridge ordering cocktails. I found myself wondering if the spirits used in our drinks were animal product free, to which I replied...

"Jaimie, you've failed at being a vegan epically."

One of my friends joked that we should rename this week Vegan Failure week. But I don't think it's been a total failure. It's been very difficult, especially when drunk and then consequentially hungover the day after. It's made me think a lot more about what I put into my body, where it comes from and what that means for the environment. While I won't be remaining vegan, I've decided that I'm going to commit to ethical eating practices.

I'd also like to add that Vanessa was a much better vegan than I was.