This is my face after finding out we got an awesome house....

I HAVE A HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for hilarious V- Fest stories, nasty vagina puns and other delightful things that go squish in the dark...

You heard me.... squish.

Intrigued much?

To Build a Home

I'm itching to move out of home. Positively itching. If anyone knows anyone who has a spare room that needs filling, or, by chance, has a spare 3 bedroom house they want to lease to me, please let me know...

Here's a list of songs that i love that have house related qualities (i.e, they are soft, warm, lovely, and their names have 'house' or 'home' as part of them).

The Cinematic Orchestra ft. the wonderful Patrick Watson-

To Build a Home

The National-

Apartment Story

Animal Collective-

Leaf House
Paul Simon-

Homeless

xoxo

Jaimie.

PS- I'm having a real problem formatting this blog (spaces between things). If anyone could help with this i'd be very grateful.

all of the joys of young people in love...

Because today is sad and dreary, and some of us are feeling particularly soggy, I thought I'd share some pretty and cosy images of my future house, which I've fleeced from the various design blogs I frequent:

From the top: Still life from Saipua, mirror from fine little day, patchwork chair from Squint via Oh Joy!, bird plate from Saipua, plant from Lena Corwin, bookshelf from Please Be Still via Poppy Talk, wall by Maxwell Loren Holyoke-Hirsch via my love for you is a stampede of horses.


Actually, I've already achieved the dream of the rainbow bookshelf, obsessively, compulsively last night at 2am:





I even share a book with the above (can you guess which?).

Also, just for you, a salad made with left over vegies from last night's roast lamb:

Simply warm the vegies in the microwave, and serve on a bed of rocket and baby spinach with feta, olives, parmesan and a dressing made from balsamic, olive oil and mint sauce. mmmm.

A glimpse of my monumentally awful day.

Dearest friends, random readers and hopefully one or two infatuated future love interests,







I have had a shit day. No really, it’s been spectacularly shit. Not since some time in year 11 when I was quoting Nick Cave lyrics daily, has a day been as bad as the one I’ve had today.

I spent the morning in a state of self reflective anguish (in my opinion, the worst kind), then upon arriving to work I managed to set off an alarm that continued to make horrible noises for EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT. Soon after this monumental 'fuck-up', I had a heated argument with the kids as to why we weren’t allowed to go paddle boating in the rain, and then managed to lose one of the darlings out on our compromised swimming trip (none of us are sure whether she managed to shootup or not). On the way home from the catastrophic swimming trip I stalled our massive manual bus in the middle of a hugely busy intersection. Soon after this I received almost every conceivable insult and was called just about every name under the sun for not letting the darlings smoke at dinner. Then to top my shift off I was told by a fellow worker that I looked too innocent and that I was going to have to work harder than other workers to get any respect from the kids. Ouch, I have respect-a-plenty, bitch.

As I’m sure many of you have asked yourselves before, why the fuck do I work there? Well my darlings, this note is partly why…

(Dear Jamie Babii,

Chris:

Hey Babe, whats doing? I am just writing to you because you don't seem like your same chirpy happy self that we all love. So i thought i would write to you to give you a warning to all people who piss you off, cause your a great worker and i hope you feel happier soon.

Much <3,

Chrissy Boi.

Holly and Bonniie,

Just letting you know that we both care about you alot and we love to see you happy. Your smile is gorguss so don't ever stop smiling cause you never know who's falling in love with it. Cheer up.

xoxo Much luv,

Holly n Bonniie. )

Cute or what? I've got a posse of gangsta's at Noffs, so yous betta look out! Truth!

Thank God today is over.

Patrick Watson-
The Great Escape



xoxo

Jaimie.

Chai, Floristry and Laksa Lemak

This was an easter of minor achievments. None of my anticipated thesis breakthroughs, essay completions or existential epiphanies occured. Instead I:

1. Brewed the perfect cup of Chai:


The secret, my friends is 100% milk. 100% full cream extra fatty, delicious milk. No water. Pour one cup (or mug) of milk and one teaspoon (or teaspoon and a half if your mug is sizable) of Chai tea (I enjoy the more convetional T2 variety, but the rosey, gingery tea centre blendI used here is quite delightful, too) into yer pot, stir over medium heat until it starts to bubble and look creamily delicious, then pour into your mug which you have warmed (ie. filled with boiling water then emptied - this makes all the difference) and laced with honey. Consume, ideally wrapped in a cashmire blanket of sorts and accompianed by a cosy book. Really, I could simply bathe in this. Perfect for a chilly autumnal easter monday.

2. Arranged flora and foliage:


Japanese flannel flower, passionfruit vine and green dendrobium orchid, to be precise.

2. And prepared, to share with you, what is to be the first of my weekly noodle dishes: Laksa Lemak.

I have aspirations of one day writing my own cookbook, a budget cookbook of sorts for struggling students and the generally poor, full of crazy anecdotes, tips and guidance, interwoven with fabulous recipies. I am sure that noodles dishes in all their cheap, easy and delicious glory will factor predominatly.
As you may have gathered, friends, if Jaimie is the love/music advice one, Vanessa the artsy/fashiony one, (although these roles are by no means exclusive) I, then have decided to christen myself the domestic one. Not very glamorous or exciting, but utterly true. I have learned to embrace (or quite possibly become) my inner housewife on a daily basis, and thus shall give you the benifit of this metamorphosis of sorts in what I hope will be the weekly posting of a new recipie, on trial for my invisoned cookbook.

Weekly Noodles Part 1: Laksa Lemak.

Like all bonified Canberrans, I'm a member of the Facebook "Dickson Asian Noodle House Laksa Appreciation Society". It's true, the creamy complexity of their gravy like broth is sublime, and whilst I've dedicated years to inventing my own laksa paste as magnificently delicious, I've concluded that the actual soup component of the DANH's Laksa is impossible to replicate. Therefore, I've given up attempting to create laksa paste - mine always turns out oddly green anyway - and have resigned myself to using the store-bourght variety. But, as a final triumph, I often mix up my own blend of additional ingredients to give it an extra kick, or perhaps because I really am unwilling to let go of my quest for ultimate paste making originality. The other day, when I saw a real Malaysian doing the same thing on The Food Lover's Guide to Australia this pursuit was re-affirmed. Anyway, you really don't have to do this - it just adds a little more depth and complexity to the broth - but just the comercial paste is fine. And to justify any attempt to make this at home when, as I've argued, the DANH's variety is unacheivably perfect I give you this: the quality of solids. I've always found their meats a little dry and over cooked, their tofu and veg a little lacking in quantity, their noodles a little thin, and their garnishes a little lacking in what I'd call essential ingredients. Thus, if one cannot improve upon the broth, thou can focus thy attention on that which swims in said broth. Plus, if you're cooking for a large group, home made laksa is cheaper and amazingly satisfying. Further, if this blog has gone interstate or, indeed, international (and why wouldn't it?) and you, dear reader, are a DANHL virgin, then you may, naively, think this is the best laksa you've ever tasted.

Serves 4 (although, it is worth noting, as mentioned, that Laksa is most economical when prepared for a large group, otherwise you'll end up with half full bags of beansprouts, tofu puffs, coriander and noodles left over, so feel free to multiply)

Ingredients:

1 Jar of Store bourght Laksa Paste (I've been in a rather serious relationship with the Valcom brand for a while now, but haven't entirely ruled out flirtations with the other varieties lined up hansomly in my Asian supermarket)
1 1/2 400ml tins coconut cream
1 cup of water
a bunch of gai larn, bok choy (or any other variety of choy), roughly chopped
around 12 fried tofu pufs, halved
around 200gms hokkein or other fresh egg noodles
around 100gms vermicelli
chicken, pork or prawns (or a combination), poached or marinated in kechup manis (Indonesian soy sauce), fried, and thinley sliced. Or, if you're feeling prosperous, purchase someBBQed Asian pork or Duck from a Chinese BBQ joint or Asian Supermarket and slice.
1 tablespoon Fish Sauce

Additional Laksa Paste Ingredients:
3 shallots
2-3 fresh large red chillies, or to taste (depending personal taste and the heat of your comercial paste - I find Valcom's to be quite underwhelming, so usually go with 3 or more)
3 garlic cloves
a 2cm peice of ginger
lemongrass, galangal, coriander roots if this takes your fancy, or if you can be bothered.

Garnishes
1 Lime
beansprouts (lots!) to garnish
Coriander, to garnish,
cucumber, sliced into long, diagonal strips, to garnish
fresh chilli, or dried chilli flakes, to garnish
fried shallots, to garnish (avaliable dried from asian supermarkets)

Technique:

Really, Laksa is all about preperation, the actual cooking time is minimal.

1. Blanch your green veg in a pot of rapidly boiling water for around one minuite, or until it looks vibrantly green and has wilted and reduced in size.
2. Soak noodles in boiling water to soften, according to packet instructions
3. prepare meat and all garnishes (as outlined in instructions)
4. place all aditional paste ingredients in a blender or food processer and puree untill a thick paste is formed, adding a little warm water to bind if neccessary.
5. heat some cooking oil in a large stockpot over medium, medium-high heat
6. add the comercial and home made pastes, and stir until fragrant (by which I mean, overpoweringly oudorous, invading your nose and throat, and making you cough a little)
7. add the coconut cream, fish sauce and water, bring to the boil and allow to thicken slightly.
8. If you are using prawns you can probably chuck them in raw at this point, as they ripen to fleshy pink quite quickly when boiled.
9. toss in the tofu puffs, boil for an additional minute to allow them to sponge up the broth, then turn off the heat.
10. meanwhile place your noodles and green veg in big noodle bowls. It is highly important that you get this right. One of the most common tragically made mistakes in the art of Laksa is the temptation to put in too many solids and not enough liquid. The noodles and veg should really only reach about a third of the way up the bowl, the rest occupied by the golden, holy broth of heaven and the divine garnishes.
11. Tip the hot broth over the soldis into the bowls, and garnish generously with the cooked meats, bean sprouts, cucumber (I find this a lovely fresh, cooling addition, but know it freaks some people out, so by all means, omit), coriander, chilli and fried shallots.
12. I cannot emphasise the following point enough. Seriously, write it down. Commit it to memory. I don't care if you never intend to make Laksa, but so long as you intend to eat it, take very careful note: Laksa should always be consumed with cold Tiger beer. No other variety will do. Refreshing, cold, appropriately Asian Tiger Beer. Make no mistake, this could honestly revolutionalise your enjoyment of Laksa forever.
Oh, and if possible, consume outdoors:


Enjoy!

Poo-Poo Finds A Dragon

Just wanted to share with you all a wonderful book my friend Katy lent to me yesterday, it's call The Golden Treasury of Children's Literature and it has the most amazing illustrations.
One of my favourites is this one of a dragon from the story Poo-Poo Finds A Dragon (amazing illustrations, but slightly unnerving story names).
I also love this image from Blue-Beard. A story I remember from my childhood which has always made me wary of men with beards, blue or otherwise.
What I particularly like about this picture is how decorative it is and how it looks as though it could be a collage of different wrapping or origami papers. Or Easter egg wrappers, did anyone else see that episode of Collectors on the ABC the other night?
Here is another picture from the book that I love, for no particular reason other than how pretty it is.

Hope everyone is having an awesome Easter break and is (like me), finding creative ways to procrastinate.

Animals on pills.

Some songs i'm enjoying by bands who have animal related names (and some slightly related pictures).

Dear God this song by Ponytail rocks on so many levels it's a little ridiculous.

(Also, is it just me or does this pony's tail look somewhat phallic? No?).

Ponytail - Celebrate the Body Electric

,

This song is by the band Deer Tick. I tried to find a picture of a deer wearing 'old shoes', but all i found was a whole heap of imbeciles who when lamenting on the money they spent on their new shoes don't know the difference between oh dear and oh deer...

Deer Tick - These Old Shoes

"but just like she'd tell me

things get better

just wait and you'll see,

take one day at a time

everything else you can leave behind

only one thing at a time

anything more really hurts your mind"

Panda Bear rocks.

Panda Bear - Take Pills

My Loveboat

Feeling that it was high time I dipped my toe (somewhat cautiously) into the pool that is Number One Millionaire, here I am with my very first posting. Or post. I'm working on becoming hip to the blogging vernacular.

Unlike my delightful (and possibly feuding friends) I am neither funny nor particularly word savvy. Though I did just use the word savvy, so maybe I am mistaken. That word always reminds me of the Asterix comic, "Obelix & Co." and its witty deconstruction of corporate business and of course, explicit use of the awesome word that is 'savvy'.

While thinking about my first post, I came up with a number of ideas:

1. A discussion on how taking photos with my polaroid camera convinces me that I have untapped artistic and photographic ability.

2. What a hottie Clive Owen is. In fact, he may be my loveboat. Or dreamboat. Or whatever.

3. Screw the other ideas, Asterix is way more fun and interesting!

and here we are readers*, here we are.

*I use the term 'readers' very loosely as I think even my fellow bloggers may have stopped reading at this point.

Sing Me Out The Window

About 6 years ago i was up late listening to Artery on Triple J pinning after some boy, when i met with the most amazing sound. Light, simple and very pretty, the song i was listening to gave me both hope for the future and a renewed interest in things that lay outside my room. I was listening to Green Grass of Tunnel by Múm, a band that very quickly developed into one of my favourites.

If you are unfamiliar with their music, I guess it would usually be classed in the genre of minimalist electronica. It's charactorised by lovely beats, gorgeous warm strings, pretty bells and airy vocals. They are wonderful and are playing a show in Sydney tonight that I am quite upset to be missing.

Green_Grass_Of_Tunnel

dancing_behind_my_eyelids

i_m_9_today

No snide remarks about other fellow bloggers.

Humph. Involuntary my behind Julia.

Spiders, Melons and Taxidermy

Jaimie has been putting all kinds of pressure on me to post something on this freshly birthed blog of ours, and, well, to be honest, I am a tad concerned about it becoming an exclusive product of her dangerously late night rants. Not that a blog consisting of the thoughts of a young girl who works night shifts at a teenage rehab facility would be a bad thing...has a rather morbidly romantic scent to it, really. Nevertheless, it does seem to be time I justified the (somewhat involuntary, while we're on it) appearance of my name in the right hand column.
Oddly, I seem to have come over all bashfull...
Therefore, I shall make my first post a "Julia recommends" of sorts.

Julia Reccomends:

That you check out the work of Julia deVille, an amazing artist/jewler whose darkly beautiful works are strangely enchanting.


That you mix natural greek yoghurt with honey and sprinkle with walnuts for breakfast tomorrow.

That you visit this hillarious blog.

That you listen to "Electric Feel" by MGMT (hell, when we work out how I'll even post an mp3).

That you exercise caution next time you innocently pick up a pile of newspapers off your loungeroom floor, less a huge huntsman spider hidden within scurry out and CRAWL ACROSS YOUR HAND! (It happened to me on Saturday and I am still traumatised. I am afriad of my very own hand where it crawled, and cant even touch newspapers).

That you impress your love interest by buying them a "Melona" melon flavoured icecream from your local Asian Supermarket. Tastes like honeydew only creamier, and is an aesthetically pleasing rectangular shape:

Stupid thoughts late at night.

Oh wow, i'm totally going to dye my hair redy brown. Just like this lovely lady's hair...

It's 4.30am on my third night shift at my wonderful place of employment. I've two more nights before my weekend starts and i get to live slightly more normal hours. Tonight i've filled my time by browsing fashion blogs and reading trashy women’s health magazines.

Realisations i have come to over the past three nights working at the silent Canberra Ted Noff's.

1. Mendino (name changed incase he stalks me)-one of my fellow night coworkers- must be the man Wallace from Wallace and Grommet was modeled from, that or he is totally possessed by some evil demon (his eyes are black as night). When Mendino talks his lower lip stretches out over the teeth of his bottom jaw. He spits a lot and consumes a rather unnerving amount of cheese, even by my standards. He is British and when he talks it's usually about his experience with this, his thoughts on so and so, or how he was in the right when he did this. He speaks in a way that gives other people involved in the conversation no way to interrupt, using loaded silences to move from one topic to the next. Since he talks such utter crap i can only imagine he must have some sort of wonderfully intelligent dog at home to look after his basic needs.

2. Depression is boring. More about this another post.

3. I think i'm meant to be with a guy who fights space demons and fly’s a very large space ship. He will be rugged and dirty in an attractive manly kind of way. He'll be the kind of guy who lovingly carries you to the bedroom but then passionately and aggressively throws you onto the bed. Any suggestions on how i'm to meet said man would be very greatly appreciated.

4. After a certain phase of exhaustion and caffeine consumption everything starts to smell like vanilla.

5. Cats can totally think in human.

6. Night shifts are making me lose my mind.

Happy Birthday Number One Millionaire!

Hello dear readers!

Seeing as how I sort of pre-jacked all over the non-existent introductory post, I figured it best that I attempt to exert some control and try again.

Vanessa, Julia and I are to be contributing to this glorious space on the interweb. Once we figure out how, we will be posting music, pretty pictures, funny stories, social commentaries, crazy shenanigans (I've a few brilliant ideas up my sleeve), fashion tips and delightful recipes. We all have our specific areas of expertise which we plan to amuse and enchant you with.

So with out much further ado,

Happy Birthday Number One Millionaire!!!!

(yay!!!!!!)

5 ways to purge that guy you are kinda seeing...

There comes a time in all non-relationship relationships where you ask your self, 'Whoa Nelly! Am I a door knob (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Door+knob) or a door stopper? (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Door+Stopper). '

Well everyone, if you're like me and are a 'door stopper', here are some wonderfully fun ways to get rid of your door kicker (Second definition- http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Door+Kicker).

1) Meet romantically entangled person in a park. Give them a cake which on the top reads, 'I am better than you.' This is a good move as it both reminds them of your dazzling culinary prowess, and of course, that you are brilliant. If they are offended, throw a smoke bomb and continuously yell 'Dijon' while rollerblading to safety.

2) Have your 'kinda guy' come over to your house. On arrival when 'kinda guy' asks housemate where you are, get housemate to act like they've never heard of anyone by your name and get them to present ‘kinda guy’ with the phone number of your nearest psychiatric facility. Delete your facebook and let all friends in on the act. Facebook friends can be reformed; sanity once lost is gone forever...

3) Act like a parrot and repeat everything he says. Everything he says. Everything he says. Everything he says. After roughly five minutes or so (less if he's smart, more if he's dumb) he'll snap. Then tell him you can't date anyone who can't communicate on your same level.

4) One night wait outside for him to pull up at his house. Once he's turned off the lights and is about to head inside, jump out from the bushes you're hiding in and whack the shit out of his arse with a fly swat. When he asks what you're doing tell him there's a massive fly constantly hanging around you and can't he hear it buzzing? Continue whacking him till he tells you to scram (again, smarter the male the less time you need) then joyfully yell, 'The buzzing is getting quieter! QUIETER!!!!'.

5) Leave town. Just leave. Pack your shit up and go. Change your name, find a new profession and get the fuck away from him. Drastic but effective.

Love you crazy kids,

Jaimie.